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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Tuesday, 19 January 2010 00:00 |
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 Recently, I saw the movie, “Up in the Air” with George Clooney. I wasn’t sure what the movie was about but was intrigued with the title. Plus, I really appreciate the quality of acting that George Clooney offers.
The theme of the movie is about folks being laid off from their jobs and the subsequent emotions that are experienced. The movie touched me in many ways because of what I have witnessed with clients, friends and colleagues who have either lost their job or were on the verge of being laid off. Those who had not yet lost their job, were wondering when the proverbially “shoe” was going to drop. When they were going to be told that their position was no longer needed at the company. They also experienced “survivor’s” guilt. That is, keeping their job while their co-workers lost theirs, sometimes finding it hard to maintain a “cheerful” and productive attitude.
I cried through part of the movie because of the harsh reality that is happening within our country of folks losing their jobs that they had held for many years, and the sense of shock that filled their reality. Many are being told that though they had done a great job, they were no longer needed. Folks who were hoping to retire within a couple of years, found themselves needing to find another job, with retirement no where in sight.
I feel that as a country we are experiencing a blanket of grief that has not been addressed. People who have held their same position in a job for years are getting fired and are shocked with the reality of losing a life long dream of retiring with pride and benefits. How does someone pick themselves back up and look optimistically into the future? And how can we as a nation, support them?
I have had the opportunity to work with many folks who are transitioning from their job, either through layoffs or the company they are with declaring bankruptcy. The general sense of hopelessness and despair are often the prevalent emotions that quickly surface. Questions of what to do next, how will I make my monthly mortgage payment, and why is this happening to me, are often the uncertainties and wonderings that individuals express. It’s as if their whole world is turned upside down and they are “up in air” as to what to do next. Their primal needs of food, shelter and clothing are the main focus of their attention. Stress and anxiety are acute and constant, making simple decisions difficult.
As I work with these individuals, I offer them some simple steps, that if used daily, will bring some relief and peace of mind to them. The first step is to breathe and slow down enough to begin settling one’s nervous system. Pervasive and acute stress trains the autonomic nervous system which includes our breathing, heart rate and secretion of stress hormones to be on overload. The more we feel stressed and anxious, the more difficult it is to calm the nervous system down. With regular practice of noticing one’s breathing and taking time to stop and breathe, over time, one’s nervous system will begin to slow down.
A suggestion is to begin each day with gratitude and “thank yous” for your breath, your beating heart, and your beautiful body. Then begin to focus for a few minutes on your breath. Breathing in and out, and allowing your body to relax. Focus your attention around the area of your heart and breathe in gratitude, appreciation and love for yourself. Allow yourself to be filled with these feelings and notice yourself accepting it. Practice this throughout the day as you step into your life. It can be done anytime, anywhere, with eyes open or closed. With continual practice you will begin to see results. Once we slow ourselves down enough, we can see that there are many options right in front of us. Many times they are just a breath away!
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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Tuesday, 12 January 2010 00:00 |
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As we’re ending the first weeks of the New Year, many folks may be looking at their New Year’s resolutions with some discouragement and frustration as the resolutions they pronounced on New Year’s Eve may have fallen by the wayside. Perhaps a repeat from last year’s proclamation of making a change and living life a different way, only to fail once again.
I have talked to several folks about their New Year’s resolutions and many say, that they no longer do resolutions because they don’t follow through with them. Other’s have felt discouraged because they really wanted to shift their behaviors and attitudes and ended up going back on their word. Thus feeling miserable and defeated.
My invitation to you, is to look at the meaning around your resolution and look deep inside yourself for what your intention of changing a belief or habit is. What if, you did inner-resolution that invoked deep healing and inner peace? What if you approached yourself with compassion, forgiveness, love and gratitude as you stepped into a new way of being. Would that make a difference in whether you were able to follow through with your resolutions? I believe that it would.
Notice how much time you spend on creating resolutions and how much detail you give them. Do you create broad statements like, “I’m going to lose weight this year?” or “I’m going to quit smoking or drinking?” While these resolutions are specific, getting to the core of what motivates someone to hold on to specific behaviors may not be addressed by simply stating the intention. It takes action steps and a commitment to get to the “heart of the matter”.
I’ve noticed that as I facilitate individuals and groups towards inner-resolution, that it’s a process of unfolding or getting clear with what the intention of the release of the behavior, attitude or habit is. That is, why they are wanting to eliminate it from their life. With this in mind, individuals and/or groups create their inner-resolutions through discovering what the initial intention of the behavior, attitude or habit was. That is, to get to the core of where it originated. When we can get to the core or bring the unconscious part of us forward, we can then clearly see what we are dealing with. Once we are clear with how a belief, attitude or habit serves us, then we can release it with love and create space for an updated and healthier choice.
As you step into this new way of looking at resolutions, be patient and kind with yourself. Sometimes the belief, attitude or behavior that you are wanting to release can put up a bit of resistance. Write down the resistance, reframe it to something positive and breathe. An example of this inner resistance may be, “You’ve failed in the past, why do you think you can succeed this time?” Notice the reaction you have. Locate it in your body. Thank it for showing up and reframe it to, “I intend that I am successful in everything that I set my intention to do!!!” You may need to repeat this process several times before there is a shift. The important thing is to slow down enough to notice your inner voice, or “shadow” voice and stop the chatter by saying “Stop!!!” Is that true? And create a new positive intention.
With practice, you will notice how quickly you catch yourself with a negative response and turn it around into something positive.
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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Wednesday, 23 December 2009 14:48 |
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Dear Friends,
 Thank you so much for all of your support, encouragement and love. My wish for you, is that your heart be filled with joy, appreciation, laughter and peace. As we transition out of the "dark" and into the Light, what a wonderful time to release anything that no longer serves you. Bow deeply to that part of you, be it a belief, attitude or myth about yourself that no longer fits you and step into the brilliance of your bright light that shines out into the world showing the way for others.
Wishing you prosperity, health and a heart full of love, as we step into the New Year with infinite possibilities. We are the one's we have been waiting for.
With a Grateful and Very Full Heart, Catherine
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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Tuesday, 15 December 2009 00:00 |
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 Now that we are full into the holidays, insidious stress, that may have taken a “backseat” earlier in the season, for many, has cranked up their anxiety level. How is it that this time of the year, the ghosts of Christmas past tend to haunt us?
It’s interesting how the holidays are supposed to be filled with love, joy, excitement and precious time shared with family and friends. National statistics, however, have shown that this is one of the most stressful times of the year. Much of this is a result of unfilled expectations and unresolved memories of past holidays. Each year, consciously or unconsciously, many of us step into the holiday season with the hopes that perhaps this year, time spent celebrating with family and friends, will be different than last year. Yet, how many times are we disappointed? What I have found through my own personal experience and with clients I’ve worked with, is that, until we resolve our issues around our past, history will continue to repeat itself. Good or bad, right or wrong until a pattern of belief is released we will continue the same pattern over and over again.
When I was 7 years old my sister, who was 4 years old, died of leukemia 2 days before Christmas. Due to this trauma and loss, my whole family grieved independently of each other. It’s interesting how events like this either pull a family closer together or tear them apart. In my case, our family pulled a part.
While we never completely get over the loss of a loved one, there are ways to release the trauma from our minds and bodies to help facilitate deep healing. Before I started the healing process, year after year and well into my adulthood, I would feel uninspired, emotionally “funky” and maintained a “bah humbug” attitude around the holidays. As my children grew up, they noticed this and would often ask, why I didn’t like the holidays? My response was often the same, I was sad because my sister died. I spoke the words as if in a trance and continued this pattern year after year. This, I’m sure was difficult for my children to understand.
When I discovered different healing techniques that actually released my stuck memory of my sister’s passing, then I was able to change my story around the holidays and begin creating a new story of celebration. I would like to share some tips with you that may help you during this holiday season, or anytime that you experience heaviness in your heart due to grief and loss.
The first step is in recognizing that there is a shift in your mood during the anniversary of a loss. To recognize a repetitive thought pattern, is the beginning of uncovering an unconscious part of our self that, until it is consciously noticed, will continue happening. Once we bring the unconscious conscious, then we can begin to shift our thoughts toward a more proactive pattern rather than a reactive one. If you notice a familiar thought or slip into a blue mood, notice what you keep repeating to your self and also notice how your body feels. Does it feel tight and tense or relaxed and fluid? Notice if you are feeling “yummy or yucky”, then consciously and consistently, bring yourself back to a better feeling place. With practice, you will become very good at noticing when your thoughts and subsequent mood begins to slip into a funk. The quicker you notice and acknowledge it, the quicker you can move out of it.
With a Grateful and Very Full Heart, Catherine
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