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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Friday, 22 May 2009 01:00 |
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Have you ever wondered who you are if you are not busy? Busy taking care of other people, busy working, busy doing “stuff”?
 Years ago, due to a serious foot injury, I was forced to stop doing things. I couldn’t exercise, I couldn’t drive, I couldn’t distract myself by continuously running around, and I noticed that I slipped into a mild depression. This may have been due, in part, to the fact that I wasn’t exercising regularly, but the biggest awareness that I came to was, “Who am I if I am not being of service?”
It was fascinating how that question literally shook the very essence of who I thought that I was. For years, I have been a mom, a wife, a single parent, an educator and a seeker. When I was forced to slow down, it was as if my system went into shock. I began thinking of all the ways that I had failed in my life, all of the things that I “couldn’t” do, and how much time I had used simply by filling up my time with “busyness”. I was very hard on myself and found myself being envious of those folks who could spend hours seemingly doing nothing, and it didn’t seem to bother them! I allowed myself to be swept away with catastrophic thinking. It was a powerful experience that I was more than ready to let go of.
Years later, I still catch myself noticing how I am when I don’t have a task at hand. While there at times the unease of doing nothing, I know that it is all right to give myself permission to stop doing and start being.
In everyday life, how does one step off of the “dread mill” of busyness? What I find works for me is the awareness that I may be experiencing a withdrawal of doing. I begin to notice what my thoughts are, how my body feels, and whether I am being present in the moment.
As I begin to practice what I often teach others about befriending any situation that we find ourselves in, I am able, with a compassionate heart, to begin looking at the core of what is coming up for me. I begin becoming acutely aware of how our society encourages the myth of busyness. This ranges from the multi-tasking that we do at work, either by our own choice or being forced to, to the continuous stimulus that we are inundated with minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day. It’s as if our “on” switch never goes “off’. If this happens for a long period of time, we can start to feel the ill affects of it in areas of our life that we are most vulnerable in. For instance, our health can become comprised, our relationships strained, or our overall outlook on life one of dread rather than of joy.
 Stepping away from the notion that one must be busy all of the time is truly a retraining of who we think we are in this world. I have come to realize that if I don’t take time to slow down and refuel myself with stillness, nature, solitude or doing nothing, I will pay for it. I will not be as productive, optimistic or compassionate as I know that I am capable of.
There are some of us who have been taught to believe that if we take care of ourselves by doing nothing, that we are being selfish and unproductive. I have learned over the years that it is selfish not to take time to do the proverbial “nothing”.
It’s all about finding balance, and knowing that doing nothing on occasion is a really wonderful gift to give to our self and to others. Try it. You might be pleasantly surprised.
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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Tuesday, 19 May 2009 01:00 |
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I have been going out with someone for the last couple of years who rides a motorcycle. When I first started riding as a passenger I was terrified. All of my childhood and young adult fears would shallow me up, to the point of being frozen as I hung on for dear life. Yet, I loved the thought of going for a ride because it was a wonderful way to look my fears right in the eye, give them a name, and release them with love. I would have floods of memories of my father telling me how dangerous motorcycles were and remembering tragic stories of people getting killed on them. As these memories would replay in my mind, I was able to slow the story down and become very present. I reminded myself that my friend Kurt was an excellent rider. That he had started riding motorcycles when he was in the 5th grade. That if I stayed very current and in the moment, all was perfect. I literally trusted Kurt with my life, just as I am learning to trust the invisible guidance that shows me the way everyday.
How many times in our life do we trust our life to a stranger? Flying in an airplane, driving down the freeway as other folks in cars drive around us? If we realized how precarious our lives were, we may not want to step of our homes. Yet, it is a wonderful reminder to note that at any given moment, regardless of what we are doing, if it is our time to leave this physical form, it doesn’t matter what we are doing. We could be getting out of bed in the morning or working out, when it is our time, no amount of negotiating or doing something will keep us from crossing over.
It’s a fascinating way to look at life. I often invite folks to bow deeply to death for it is our greatest gift because it gives us one more breath. Instead of running away from life; go with the flow.
 When I am on the back of the motorcycle all of my senses are activated. Sight, sounds, smells and texture become more acute. I love the sensation of being so totally awake and aware. As we round a corner I gently lean in the direction that we are turning. As we go up a hill I relax into the comfort of Kurt’s back. It’s a beautiful dance of grace and ease.
When we lean into life and go with the flow all is well. If we go against the flow, we run into resistance and fear. How many times have you resisted something in your life only to relax into it and notice how gently you are able to move with the flow. It’s as if we wake up and lose our minds and come to our senses. Recognizing the rhythms and wonderful opportunities that are all around us.
 While riding on the back of a motorcycle may not be your cup of tea, I invite you to spend some time noticing the opportunities you have to fully step into your life with all of your senses. Begin to integrate how wonderful it feels to fully “show up”. Challenge your dragons and turn them into paper dragons. The dragons, metaphorically speaking, are those parts of yourself that are scared to try something new because of a past memory or belief. Notice those areas in your life that may be limiting you from fully stepping into life because of outdated fears and myths. Take this challenge to step into those scary places and surround them with love. I’m not suggesting that you take unnecessary risks, rather, let yourself feel the thrill of releasing the bondage of fear. Begin to say, “Yes!” to your life.
While you are learning to do this, remember to use discernment. Ask yourself if stepping into your fear would expand you or contract you? Trust yourself and learn to fly! Then begin to notice how effortless and joyful your life becomes. You will become lighter and freer; unburdened and unencumbered with the ghosts of the past.
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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Friday, 15 May 2009 13:00 |
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I was given a wonderful opportunity last night to perform rites of passage rituals for 2 very special men. One had just turned 50 and was gingerly stepping into his Elder hood; the other was taking his place as a well-earned Elder. I love doing ceremony because it honors the individual and the path that they are going down in this life. I feel that every moment can be a sacred ritual when done with intention. When one sets their intention to do a ritual with witnesses, it creates a very powerful experience. How many times in our life do we accomplish something and not acknowledge that experience? Or transition unnoticed from being a child to becoming a young man or woman? Ancient cultures have used sacred ritual as a way of honoring one’s transitions. Be it a mother giving birth or an individual crossing over. So many times when an individual goes through transition or steps into another phase of their life, they feel abandoned. Often folks don’t know what to say when someone shifts. How wonderful it is to fully step into the process with support and community. This makes the transition real on so many different levels.
 When I do ritual, I use the nature elements. The wind, water, air and fire. I call in the 7 directions of the East, the South, the West and the North. I invoke the energies of the upper world, the lower world, and the physical world that we walk in everyday. When these invisible energies are called in, a beautifully profound shift occurs for the individual who is being honored. It’s as if for the first time they are being seen, heard and valued as the sacred loving being that they are. And they feel this. Often there are tears of joy, tears of release, and tears for clearing away the distorted vision they had of themselves. It’s so beautiful and touching. To be witnessed is powerfully profound.
I have performed rituals for weddings, births, grief, and coming of age. Each one is so special and unique. I have witnessed individuals physical appearance shift, as they stand taller and look out into their magnificent life with tremendous gratitude and appreciation. It’s as if a veil has been lifted and they are able to see all of the infinite possibilities that are in front of them. Perhaps for the first time they can stand up with a strong backbone and a clear voice.
The approach that I have to healing is one of honoring all the parts of ourselves, and all of the experiences that we have had. This is done as ritual, as witnessing one’s story and allowing a space for deep resolution and healing to occur. The results are exciting, as the individual is able to fully step into their life and find their place on this earth. It creates more compassion and self-love. It creates an unfolding of sorts that shows a person that they are not alone on this earth and that we are all interconnected. We are all related. I am another you, you are another me. We breathe the same air and drink the same water. Our heartbeat is as one. When we witness each other, we can see the circle of interconnection expanding. We are deeply interconnected with mother earth, the animals, the oceans, the trees, and the mountains. As we come together as one, that’s when true resolution and connection can occur. All of us hold a very sacred place on this planet and in this life.
So I invite you to look at the various aspects of your life that perhaps could be honored with a ritual. Call upon your special friends and ask them if they would be willing to be present with you as you step into a new way of being. You will be amazed at the results.
I can guide you, and help set up a sacred circle for you and your loved ones to step into.
Namaste'
Catherine
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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Friday, 15 May 2009 10:00 |
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Of late, I have been acutely aware of how some folks are dealing with their stress through the various coping mechanisms or habits that they turn to when they feel threatened.
The major types of stressors that many are experiencing are their basic primal needs being threatened; food, shelter, and clothing, and for others their internal demons, or shadows have become more exaggerated. As fear begins to permeate every part of an individual’s reality and the world around them, some shut down and become isolated and others use distraction as a way to turn away from their inner pain and suffering, thus making habits more intense and noticeable.
 I’ve been working from home lately and have been aware of the ever-changing weather I have noticed this spring. My office has windows that face the east and the south, so I get a wide view of the outdoors. One minute it is sunny, the next rainy, the next windy. Within 15 minutes the weather could change dramatically. It’s a beautiful illustration of impermance and detachment.
It makes me think of how our thoughts are like that. One minute we’re thinking of one thing, the next minute our thoughts draw us somewhere else. Like clouds in the sky, they shimmer and shine as they go by. If one can consciously notice this, then perhaps they could begin to discipline the mind to slow down which would help ease anxiety that often leads to unhealthy habits. If we could slow ourselves down enough to notice, then we can become witness to our habits and behaviors. If we can say either out loud or to ourselves, “Just thinking, just thinking” then it takes away the “juice” of the thought. A metaphor that I think of is riding a train and looking out the window and seeing snapshots of the view. Our thoughts are like snapshots. It’s when we get attached to them, that cause us to go off on a mental tangent. If we’re not aware, we can create a worse case scenario that could unconsciously activate our habit. It is when we realize that we are not present, that we are most present.
This is an excellent time to become curious with how your various coping strategies serve you, and whether or not they provide the relief that they may have in the past.
 If we can come from the place of compassion for our selves and our various habits that we have taken on, then we can begin to release the ones that no longer serve us. When a habit is first established, the intention is to bring relief, which is a positive intention. In over use, the habit can cause harm and become a burden. For example, someone may learn that having a few drinks will relax them. It’s easier for them to express themselves and cope with life. If a person continues to use alcohol in this way, it can become a crutch that prevents them from coping in a healthy way. In fact, the drinking can cause more anxiety and isolation. Thus creating a vicious cycle. At this point, it is important to really look closely at the habit and weigh out the consequences of continuing it. You don’t break a habit; you replace it with something that will better serve you.
Here are some suggestions to begin this process of self-observation.
* Stay in the moment and take small practical steps to begin recognizing a pattern of behavior or habit that may no longer be serving you. Refrain from doing it, relax into it, and resolve it by acknowledging how it has served you in the past and how it may no longer serve you now.
* This is a time to be completely honest with yourself and to take responsibility for how your coping behavior may be outdated. Be gentle with yourself and recognize the positive intention of the coping behavior and release it gently with love.
With a Grateful heart,
Catherine
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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Tuesday, 05 May 2009 16:10 |
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 Words and thoughts are powerful..! Especially during times of stress, it is important to watch the words that you use and the thoughts that may be ruminating around in your head. It is believed that we have between 60,00 to 80,00 thoughts per day and most of them are repeats from yesterday. When there are some many thoughts  running around your head, it can create fragmentation or the inability to focus, and this can lead to manipulation because an individual is too distracted to literally think straight. They act as “pea brains”, and are unable to discern information or make decisions. If we realized the power of a negative thought, we would never entertain a negative thought again. Words can either expand you or contract you. That is, some words give us power and other words take our power away. Dr. David Hawkins in his book, “Power vs. Force” describes how words energetically create patterns within us that can either enhance us or put us into a state of powerlessness. Here’s an exercise for you: either silently or out loud say the following words, and notice how you feel when you say them, circle them as you go; abundant / excessive, considerate / indulgent, challenged / impeded, carefree / frivolous. What did you notice, especially in your body? Did you feel stronger when you said one word and perhaps weaker when you said the other? Research that Dr. Hawkins did indicated that the words to the left were powerful (positive) and that the words to the right were weak (negative). So, one thing that I would invite you to do is pay attention to your words. This can be a difficult task because more than 80% of the time we are unconscious of what we may be saying and the words that we are using. That is amazing to think about. So, this is a learning process, and one to have fun with. Once we bring the unconscious conscious, then we can make healthier choices.
We live in a society that has been referred to as a “psuedo attention deficient disorder” society because of all the stimulus and massive amounts of information we take in every moment, often unconsciously. It comes in forms that are often seemingly benign to us..the sound of a siren, the phone ringing, the child crying, thoughts about paying the bills, etc.. stress has an insidious way of creating internal chaos and may cause an individual to be overly reactive or perhaps make impulsive decisions that they may not have made had they been relaxed and focused. While short-term stress can often guide a person to perhaps be more productive, long-term stress can create unnecessary anxiety and strain on the body.
So what’s a person to do? One thing is to begin to notice what your body is doing when you’re feeling stressed out. Is it tightening up? Or do you even notice your body? Our body is a wonderful barometer of what is going on inside of us, and when done with conscious practice can guide us to a place of peace, balance and relaxation. Another suggestion is to “take the vow”. Deepak Chopra invites folks to take the vow of non-violent communication to ourselves and others. It is sad how verbally violent we can be, especially to ourselves. And so, if you feel inclined, I invite you to “take the vow” today. For more information on that google: Deepak Chopra, “Take the vow”. Once you do, you will be amazed at how much better you will feel about yourself and others.
Namaste'
Catherine
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