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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Tuesday, 19 January 2010 00:00 |
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 Recently, I saw the movie, “Up in the Air” with George Clooney. I wasn’t sure what the movie was about but was intrigued with the title. Plus, I really appreciate the quality of acting that George Clooney offers.
The theme of the movie is about folks being laid off from their jobs and the subsequent emotions that are experienced. The movie touched me in many ways because of what I have witnessed with clients, friends and colleagues who have either lost their job or were on the verge of being laid off. Those who had not yet lost their job, were wondering when the proverbially “shoe” was going to drop. When they were going to be told that their position was no longer needed at the company. They also experienced “survivor’s” guilt. That is, keeping their job while their co-workers lost theirs, sometimes finding it hard to maintain a “cheerful” and productive attitude.
I cried through part of the movie because of the harsh reality that is happening within our country of folks losing their jobs that they had held for many years, and the sense of shock that filled their reality. Many are being told that though they had done a great job, they were no longer needed. Folks who were hoping to retire within a couple of years, found themselves needing to find another job, with retirement no where in sight.
I feel that as a country we are experiencing a blanket of grief that has not been addressed. People who have held their same position in a job for years are getting fired and are shocked with the reality of losing a life long dream of retiring with pride and benefits. How does someone pick themselves back up and look optimistically into the future? And how can we as a nation, support them?
I have had the opportunity to work with many folks who are transitioning from their job, either through layoffs or the company they are with declaring bankruptcy. The general sense of hopelessness and despair are often the prevalent emotions that quickly surface. Questions of what to do next, how will I make my monthly mortgage payment, and why is this happening to me, are often the uncertainties and wonderings that individuals express. It’s as if their whole world is turned upside down and they are “up in air” as to what to do next. Their primal needs of food, shelter and clothing are the main focus of their attention. Stress and anxiety are acute and constant, making simple decisions difficult.
As I work with these individuals, I offer them some simple steps, that if used daily, will bring some relief and peace of mind to them. The first step is to breathe and slow down enough to begin settling one’s nervous system. Pervasive and acute stress trains the autonomic nervous system which includes our breathing, heart rate and secretion of stress hormones to be on overload. The more we feel stressed and anxious, the more difficult it is to calm the nervous system down. With regular practice of noticing one’s breathing and taking time to stop and breathe, over time, one’s nervous system will begin to slow down.
A suggestion is to begin each day with gratitude and “thank yous” for your breath, your beating heart, and your beautiful body. Then begin to focus for a few minutes on your breath. Breathing in and out, and allowing your body to relax. Focus your attention around the area of your heart and breathe in gratitude, appreciation and love for yourself. Allow yourself to be filled with these feelings and notice yourself accepting it. Practice this throughout the day as you step into your life. It can be done anytime, anywhere, with eyes open or closed. With continual practice you will begin to see results. Once we slow ourselves down enough, we can see that there are many options right in front of us. Many times they are just a breath away!
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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Tuesday, 12 January 2010 00:00 |
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As we’re ending the first weeks of the New Year, many folks may be looking at their New Year’s resolutions with some discouragement and frustration as the resolutions they pronounced on New Year’s Eve may have fallen by the wayside. Perhaps a repeat from last year’s proclamation of making a change and living life a different way, only to fail once again.
I have talked to several folks about their New Year’s resolutions and many say, that they no longer do resolutions because they don’t follow through with them. Other’s have felt discouraged because they really wanted to shift their behaviors and attitudes and ended up going back on their word. Thus feeling miserable and defeated.
My invitation to you, is to look at the meaning around your resolution and look deep inside yourself for what your intention of changing a belief or habit is. What if, you did inner-resolution that invoked deep healing and inner peace? What if you approached yourself with compassion, forgiveness, love and gratitude as you stepped into a new way of being. Would that make a difference in whether you were able to follow through with your resolutions? I believe that it would.
Notice how much time you spend on creating resolutions and how much detail you give them. Do you create broad statements like, “I’m going to lose weight this year?” or “I’m going to quit smoking or drinking?” While these resolutions are specific, getting to the core of what motivates someone to hold on to specific behaviors may not be addressed by simply stating the intention. It takes action steps and a commitment to get to the “heart of the matter”.
I’ve noticed that as I facilitate individuals and groups towards inner-resolution, that it’s a process of unfolding or getting clear with what the intention of the release of the behavior, attitude or habit is. That is, why they are wanting to eliminate it from their life. With this in mind, individuals and/or groups create their inner-resolutions through discovering what the initial intention of the behavior, attitude or habit was. That is, to get to the core of where it originated. When we can get to the core or bring the unconscious part of us forward, we can then clearly see what we are dealing with. Once we are clear with how a belief, attitude or habit serves us, then we can release it with love and create space for an updated and healthier choice.
As you step into this new way of looking at resolutions, be patient and kind with yourself. Sometimes the belief, attitude or behavior that you are wanting to release can put up a bit of resistance. Write down the resistance, reframe it to something positive and breathe. An example of this inner resistance may be, “You’ve failed in the past, why do you think you can succeed this time?” Notice the reaction you have. Locate it in your body. Thank it for showing up and reframe it to, “I intend that I am successful in everything that I set my intention to do!!!” You may need to repeat this process several times before there is a shift. The important thing is to slow down enough to notice your inner voice, or “shadow” voice and stop the chatter by saying “Stop!!!” Is that true? And create a new positive intention.
With practice, you will notice how quickly you catch yourself with a negative response and turn it around into something positive.
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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Wednesday, 14 October 2009 01:00 |
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 For the last several months, twice a week I have had the wonderful opportunity of interviewing many of the authors from Overcomers, Inc., a book due out in mid October 2009, on my blogtalkradio show. It has been such an honor to be welcomed into the lives of these authors as they talk of their own struggles, trials and ultimate victories surrounding the unique challenges each faced in their life.
What I am most profoundly aware of is the resiliency of the human heart and spirit. During this time in history all of us, to some degree, are being challenged in areas of our lives, which create tremendous vulnerability and angst. How is it that some folks rise to the occasion, while others sink? It has a lot to do with resiliency, hope, courage and tremendous tenacity. Some folks are born with this internal strength, while others gain it through living life. Either way, the results are phenomenal.
I love hearing stories of hope, courage and inspiration because it reminds me that all of our stories of life are important to tell. They are especially powerful when we tell them in a way that is victorious and witnessed by others. Victorious in that, one is able to fully embrace the situation in a way that is empowering to the individual and also honors the gifts of the dilemma that are sometimes hidden.
The authors I have interviewed thus far have dealt with life threatening diseases, losses of a loved one or devastation from a divorce, to name just a few. All of them expressed the same learning’s, though in different words, that when they lifted themselves up with an open, compassionate and loving heart embracing the adversity that tore apart their world, that that is where their true gift was.
I am so grateful and deeply blessed, with not only speaking with these amazing individuals but to be part of this incredible journey of “Overcomers” overcoming adversity with hope, courage and inspiration. Thank you all for your participation and dedication to help make this a better world.
I am still in the process of interviewing the authors and would invite you to take the time to listen. Be ready to be inspired! http://www.blogtalkradio.com/inspirationsoftheheart
Enjoy insights into Overcoming Adversity with Grace with the FREE ebook at http://www.overcomersbook.com/grace
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Written by Catherine VanWetter
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Monday, 28 September 2009 01:00 |
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What would your life look like if you took full responsibility for it and stopped blaming others? This at first glance can seem like a daunting endeavor, yet when broken down into small steps, can be very liberating, and it also takes courage. It takes courage to become accountable. When we become accountable for where we are in our life and all that it has taken to get us there, we can begin to show up in ways that empower us rather than disempower us.
Every time we blame someone or something for what is happening in our life, we lose a little part of ourselves because we give our power away. It’s as if those outside of us control our reactions and thus our sense of happiness. Rather than doing this, I invite you to listen to your words as you describe situations that are not to your liking. Do you place the responsibility of how you are feeling on the shoulders of someone else or do you look at how your responses to the situation activated the results? In other words, are you a victim to your circumstances or are you the victor?
While there are times that we are victims to our circumstances, that is, not having control over things outside of us, as we become more aware, part of our responsibility is to honor that and move forward in a way that gives us the opportunity to move beyond the point of collapsing.
So how does one get started? It begins with becoming aware of how you feel when a situation happens. This requires being honest with one’s self. That is, what was your part in the situation and how did you respond it? If you responded in a way that was proactive, taking full responsibility for your response, then you are being accountable. If you responded reactively, and blamed the other person for the outcome, feeling the victim, how much responsibility are you taking? With that in mind how could you turn that around and take responsibility? To do this means practicing self-honesty and awareness to what your response was. With practice and small steps, it becomes easier to notice what your part was. Remember to practice compassion, patience and gentleness with yourself as you begin this wonderfully liberating action towards self-responsibility.
 FREE teleclass: "Honoring Your Past So that you may Embrace This Moment and Step Confidently into Your Future" http://totheheartofthematter.com/teleclass/
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